Question

[make_your_move]

reposted from archway with permission.


In a large number of ways, I find LESS emotional risk in sex than in demonstrating and receiving romance .

It takes more courage to offer tokens of time, silliness, thoughtfulness, and affection than it does to indulge in lust.

This makes me curious. It also makes me want to man the torpedoes and address the issue!

The other half of this little conundrum is the courage of the receiver.

If you are poly, where does romance stand in the web of consideration for you, your partner, your secondaries, etc.?

I am curious to any thoughts on this/these topics.

Comments

since you copied and pasted the question, I'll copy and paste my answer

[russell-moore.livejournal.com]

For me, the romance part seems to come naturally. Honest heart felt compliments, warm caring hugs, holding hands while watching a sunset ... just seems like the natural thing to do for me.

My wife seems appreciative, so that aspect works well.

I also have nice interludes with others at events we attend. The biggest compliment I received was from a couple of older women I regularly flirt with, who gave me naked hugs, a big smooch, and thanked me for helping them feel pretty.

Thing is, I thought they WERE pretty, so did not hesitate to tell them so. Unfortunately, I guess others in their life don't verbalize as much.

Being romantic, and showing honest caring emotion, is not something that has to be limited to just one's signinifcant other. Oh, there are some little things that no one but my wife gets in the way of special attention. But I reap joy from making the other women in my life smile as well, which then makes me smile. Happiness all around.

And being romantic does not mean it has to be an event every time you do it. Low key sweet nothings whispered in an ear, walk-by I love you's, even a simple calm 5 minutes spent in the warm comfort of each others arms at the end of a work day with no words needing to be said ... all of these small little romantic things show caring, and can't really be forced. You either follow your instincts and do them or not. 'Forced' romantic efforts, that come from over analyzing rather than simply acting from the heart, usually end up as unsatisfactory.

There is also a misconception that romance should be limited to just the bedroom. This is a sure fire way of it never getting to the bedroom part in my opinion.

Have I rambled enough for you? lol ...

I'm not sure being romantic can be taught, but I think being romantic can be learned, if that makes any sense. It means simply quieting your brain a bit and following a more instinctive path with your partner or friend. And honest feeling and emotions are what should be your guide, rather than acting in a way you think should be correct.

Re: since you copied and pasted the question, I'll copy and paste my answer

[3ravensringo.livejournal.com]

Sounds a lot like what I was rambling about yesterday, authenticity. People want to feel genuine things from those around them, be it lust, love, or concern.

Re: since you copied and pasted the question, I'll copy and paste my answer

[radiant-one.livejournal.com]

And honest feeling and emotions are what should be your guide, rather than acting in a way you think should be correct.

Kind of falls into the prescribed romantic reactions that commercialism forces on people.

But the main reaction was... romance is thoughtfulness. It can just be a call/communication, out of the blue, to say "You are special to me....". Romance doesn't have to be "the big event" stuff. The best part of romance is filling your special person's moment with you.