Question

[make_your_move]

reposted from archway with permission.


In a large number of ways, I find LESS emotional risk in sex than in demonstrating and receiving romance .

It takes more courage to offer tokens of time, silliness, thoughtfulness, and affection than it does to indulge in lust.

This makes me curious. It also makes me want to man the torpedoes and address the issue!

The other half of this little conundrum is the courage of the receiver.

If you are poly, where does romance stand in the web of consideration for you, your partner, your secondaries, etc.?

I am curious to any thoughts on this/these topics.

Comments

[paulpomes.livejournal.com]

There are two elements to the question and answer. First is energy balance, where we direct our finite resources: career, school, family, self-maintenance, relationships, etc. If career is in a tight spot then there might not be so much energy left for risk-taking. That's when I draw on established relationships where the people are aware of the ebbs and flows within my life.

Romance is a way to build trust, to show that there are feelings of warmth and affection. It brings down barriers to increased intimacy. When I turned forty I found that finding sex was easy; finding intimacy and connection that can make sex explosive was hard.