Quote on relationships found on my friends list

[make_your_move]

We've all been guilty of thinking with our genitals -- women as much as men. But there comes a point when we have to sit down and realize that if we want a certain type of relationship, or a a a certain type of person, then we have to realize that the genesis of those relationships don't begin between someone's legs..

By minofsin06 on talking about folks being 'more than their sex drives.'

Comments

[cz_unit]

Mmmm... Sometimes they do begin that way. A person's scent is a very base and powerful attractant. I've learned to deal with this :-)

Chris

[margoeve.livejournal.com]

For some reason your comment cued a mental image of people greeting each other like dogs do. I hope that's not what you mean by "personal scent."

[cz_unit]

Mmmmm not quite, but close. I will say that scent is a very under-rated sense in this culture. If someone smells right, and the feeling is mutual it can lead to a very erotic encounter.

CZ

[margoeve.livejournal.com]

You know, it's funny because I have been telling my partner this for ages. That and trying to explain to him how scent is tied to memory and conditioning very deeply. So, for example, there's this incense we would burn during our "encounters" early in our relationship, so whenever I smell it I am more prone to be amorous than without it. Same thing with certain oils and cologne.

But he doesn't seem to get "lost" in body scents like I do. ::shrug::


Of course scent can also be tapped into negative memory and emotion too. But that's a whole other conversation.

[make-your-move.livejournal.com]

Oh, absolutely. When I hug someone I am very aware of the personal scent, which is usually best detected around the neck below the ear.... hmmm...

[margoeve.livejournal.com]

I don't agree with the phrasing but I agree with the spirit of this.
The genesis may begin between the legs, but the life of the relationship is short lived if it doesn't grow beyond that.

[(Anonymous)]

Sometimes you want a relationship you can't have. Maybe there's distance or time issues, or other relationships, or just a lack of mutual feeling.

So you squeeze a relationship through a keyhole. You and the other person have an affair once a year. You have lunch once a week, just you two. Or you use sex, or BDSM, or some other physical contact asa substitute. You use the relationship you can have as a kind of totem for the relationship you can't.

It's not the genesis of a good relationship, but it can be life support.

[make-your-move.livejournal.com]

Life support only lasts so long ... there has to be more to build the base on, even to continue the 'relationship in a keyhole' analogy, or I think it will fizzle out.

[(Anonymous)]

I keep hoping it'll fizzle out.

[make-your-move.livejournal.com]

Okay, I'm curious as to who you are - you can send me mail at make_your_move@livejournal.com if you want to let me know privately.

I keep hoping it'll fizzle out./i>

Continuing on - what is stopping you from ending this relationship that is not meeting your needs/wants? Is not ending this relationship preventing you from finding someone else?

[bittibuddha.livejournal.com]

it seems self-evident, jes.

Some thoughts

[sierra-victor.livejournal.com]

I can agree with this.

I've been guility far too often of thinking with my little head. And, of not thinking but in just going with the feeling, the scent. All too often, in the long run that turned out to be a mistake.

A little chemistry and a little sense go a long way towards making long-term relationships that really work.

S_V

[keyne.livejournal.com]

Y'know, I read this as "...the genitals of those relationships don't begin between someone's legs..." -- twice.

<sigh>