What we've discovered so far
Jul. 13th, 2006 10:08 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
make_your_moveLast night we
This time with a different counselor. Our last appointment with the first counselor left us both in a 'thumbs neutral' post review. She is very nice, but her style didn't really resonate with us. She was helpful and brought up some salient points, but neither of us was rushing back to see her. Last night we saw a different counselor and both our immediate reviews left us much more comfortable with her, and we're both wanting to get back to her for more sessions. We'll have to see how it works into our budget - personally I'd like to see her every week, but our insurance doesn't cover any of it, so it would be a bit more than we can handle financially *sigh*
The downside is, for all the talking we did last night, I left more depressed than hopeful. Q and I seem to be on entirely different pages -- hell, we seem to be on entirely different continents on some issues. We're both listening, and acknowledging what the other is saying, but I don't think we're actually *getting* it. Funny, I thought if we could do the first two, the third would just come naturally. Problem is, we can see the other viewpoint from an academic side, acknowledge it's valid to the person feeling it, but since my needs are not needs that he has, he just doesn't grok it on an emotional level. I'd like to write more on this, but I am having a really hard time articulating the mish-mash going on in my own head, so at the moment I'll just leave it lie.
We both want things to be better, we both want things to not be broken, but neither of us know how to get from here to there anymore. If you can't get a core need met from your partner, what do you do?
This time with a different counselor. Our last appointment with the first counselor left us both in a 'thumbs neutral' post review. She is very nice, but her style didn't really resonate with us. She was helpful and brought up some salient points, but neither of us was rushing back to see her. Last night we saw a different counselor and both our immediate reviews left us much more comfortable with her, and we're both wanting to get back to her for more sessions. We'll have to see how it works into our budget - personally I'd like to see her every week, but our insurance doesn't cover any of it, so it would be a bit more than we can handle financially *sigh*
The downside is, for all the talking we did last night, I left more depressed than hopeful. Q and I seem to be on entirely different pages -- hell, we seem to be on entirely different continents on some issues. We're both listening, and acknowledging what the other is saying, but I don't think we're actually *getting* it. Funny, I thought if we could do the first two, the third would just come naturally. Problem is, we can see the other viewpoint from an academic side, acknowledge it's valid to the person feeling it, but since my needs are not needs that he has, he just doesn't grok it on an emotional level. I'd like to write more on this, but I am having a really hard time articulating the mish-mash going on in my own head, so at the moment I'll just leave it lie.
We both want things to be better, we both want things to not be broken, but neither of us know how to get from here to there anymore. If you can't get a core need met from your partner, what do you do?
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Date: 2006-07-13 02:40 pm (UTC)Take this with a grain of salt because you know my current relationship and that's the closest I've had to a "successful" relationship. I think when you get to this point the two of you need to acknowledge that the core need isn't being met, and look for that need to be met with someone else. As long as the two of you are comfy with certain needs being met by other people you should be okay - not that I'm saying it won't take work.