Starting all over again

[make_your_move]

An entry in which I chat about

So, it's that time of year again. The kids are back in school (and I will be too in a month) and I have more time to myself during the day. I have to confess something though, I've been keeping my issues and whines to myself when it comes to my physicality. Since it's pretty much my fault I let myself get here, I need to deal with getting myself out of it. And I've written about so many different times and ways I've tried to lose weight that frankly, it's kind of embarrassing. But, here I am again, because I'm trying something different, and journaling about it is part of the process.

Let's start with the big confession, at least for me. I am now the heaviest weight I have ever been *except* when I was pregnant. And if it hadn't been for an out of the blue question from my friend Rhy, I might of kept avoiding getting on a scale. But I did, sometime right before Pennsic, and it was revealing to say the least. Then I spent two weeks at Pennsic where pretty much the primary means of transportation is your own two feet. The walking wasn't too bad, but everything else was harder (lifting, setting up, etc.). Then there was a photo that Amy took that just made me gasp, and not in a good way. The moment in and of itself was really happy, but looking at the picture (which I can't post here, because they're protected) all I see is how big I look and how much I don't ever want to look that way again.

So, I've had this on one of my (mental) burners ...waiting for the last bits of summer to come and go, so i could focus on making some changes. But I seem to want to have a real block when those changes involve my eating, because during that time, I justified eating crappy by saying I was going to change soon. How screwed up is that? Sometimes I think I need to see a therapist (again) to get past some of the fabulous justification-weasels I've got.

Last time Ani and I had a date night, we stopped at Borders. I picked up the newest version of Champions Body for Life. I've had the original Body for LIfe by Bill Phillips for a few years ... hell, I even have the women's version by Pam Peeke (Yes, I also have a serious book addiction). I read this newest version (Champions) which goes over the program week by week, and includes the stories of the two winners of last years challenge. And decided I want to try ... 12 weeks, starting Monday of this week.

So, Monday's food started out well, and spiraled out of control by the afternoon, and I didn't exercise. Yesterday's eating (Tues) also started out well, but dissolved around the middle of the afternoon. Not because I was actually hungry, but because my food was out and offered to me. And I did make it to the gym for the cardio workout. It was a struggle, and about midway though it, I was looking for an excuse to just stop, but didn't. There was no 'magical' sense of accomplishment afterward either, just a nod to my mental determination for helping me through it. I did try to make better choices last night over dinner, while sneaking in a couple of extra pieces of skin off the chicken legs (my head is an interesting mind field). But I didn't eat last night when I really did want to snack. So, it's the little accomplishments I'm trying to focus on.

Today I got up, drank my water and went to the gym and did the lower body workout. It took 39 minutes and my legs feel slightly jello-like. Which, I'm guessing is a good thing. I had a light yogurt for breakfast and a Myoplex Lite shake post work out (yes, I'm trying the supplements too). This afternoon will involve a large salad with shrimp and this afternoon I'm going to make some brown rice for myself for dinner.


So, here's the thing. I"m gonna journal about this, every day. All of it, the good, bad, ugly, not so ugly. And I'm going to put this in my other community fast_together. If you interested in this filter, drop me a comment. I would love to have folks to write to, but if I only write for myself, that will be ok too.

Comments

[lapsedagnostic.livejournal.com]

Good for you! I'll do what I can to help you, including joining you on the No Food After Dinner plan.

Love yah

[make-your-move.livejournal.com]

Your support and encouragement mean the world to me babe.

[archway.livejournal.com]

Yes, please include me in this filter and the community...~warm smile~

[make-your-move.livejournal.com]

You can join the community by following the link. Would love to have you there.

[marinda-4.livejournal.com]

Since I'm doing the same thing right now, I'd love some company. I tend not to write about it (or really anything), but I'm working on losing weight, and getting myself into better shape too. I need to do it - mentally - so that I know that I can be there for my baby. :)

I'm also joining the other community.

[redhotlips.livejournal.com]

*sending much encouragement your way*

I'd be encouraged, reading of you progress. If it helps, I'm on a similar journey. (I too have a health filter so folks can opt out of hearing of it)

Yeah

[genvandevander.livejournal.com]

Yes please include me in your daily journal! Since I am also on the road to a healthier me, we can support each other. And you will help inspire me :) *big hugs* Gen :)

Re: Yeah

[make-your-move.livejournal.com]

Thank you babe. Your recent entries have been very encouraging to me. I'm glad to have you along.

BTW, this weekend ... watch out regarding "trail mix" ... it has a ton of empty calories in it.

Re: Yeah

[genvandevander.livejournal.com]

Thanks, I will keep an eye out. I intend to bring a ton of healthy stuff like fruit. And I can't drink I have my munchkin this weekend, so I don't have to worry about those empty calories :) kinda think I might miss it though ;)

[becalyn.livejournal.com]

Me please. I'm at that "need to start over again" point too.

[museclio]

I'd like to read as well. I'm trying to get better, but food and I have a fucked up relationship.

[make-your-move.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I obviously have food issues. But I'm gonna work on them, and you can too.

[alricthemad.livejournal.com]

My weigh in for employment physical, 244. I know I haven;t been taking care of my self, I didn't realize it was that bad.

Kel and I were at the gym this morning.
I started to change my eating habits yesterday. More in the FAST Together community.

[cellymcfae.livejournal.com]

Sure, put me on the filter. Perhaps it will inspire me to get MY ass back to the exercising. ;^D

[soubrettic.livejournal.com]

I would love to have folks to write to, but if I only write for myself, that will be ok too.

Write to me, please!

[make-your-move.livejournal.com]

Well, I mean "write too" as in writing on this filter. So, I've included you and I'm glad you're here.

[soubrettic.livejournal.com]

Oh, I understood completely. I was just being playful... rather too early in the day, probably.

[grail76.livejournal.com]

Please include me.
Good luck with this.

[bittibuddha.livejournal.com]

I'd love to be involved too babe.

[3fgburner.livejournal.com]

I'm in. I know exactly what you mean about getting up / sitting down, etc, at Pennsic. Plus, freaking STANDING. That was harder than walking.

[aminahfiddler.livejournal.com]

Ohhh I'll have to join.

I have a different view of food now that I'm a type 2 diabetic and just had that "bump in the road".

Let me know if you want me to go on and on about it. Which I tend to do since it's relatively easy and healthy and right now i'm kind of passionate about it.

[eleithyia.livejournal.com]

I just joined the community and I'd love to be on your filter.

Good for you on the workout this AM!

[musicman.livejournal.com]

you should add me, it will help remind me to go swim, to watch my carbohydrate intake and to continue eating fresh fruits and vegys.

[belthazar-b.livejournal.com]

I know you can do it babe. I'm here for you in any way I can be. Love you.

[sierra-victor.livejournal.com]

Clara's very much in the same place you are right now. We had a long talk about it last night after watching a TiVoed PBS special on why there are no simple answers on both why we gain weight and why we find it so hard to lose weight. She's going to be taking serious steps to drop the pounds. She's healthy now, but extra-weight has a way of always fouling up your health one way or the other.

I'll be joining your community. You go girl!

S_V

[ladylyonesse.livejournal.com]

I'm in if you'll have me, please.

[hawk-by-choice.livejournal.com]

Good luck with the program... I have used the Body for Life method before with good results.

Maybe you can inspire me to get off my larger and larger butt and do something about my own health.

[divinerose.livejournal.com]

This is something I am working on as well, so if you don't mind, I'd like to be added to the filter.

[ex-eridan.livejournal.com]

funny thing, i just made up my mind this morning to join the gym down the street. I'd like to be on the filter, if you don't mind.

[ebullientjenn.livejournal.com]

Yes include me too on the filter.

Since you're a self proclaimed book ho.. I'm going to recommend a couple too.

Mindless Eating

Hey I've actually got a list. Clearly don't look at the ones specifically for weight loss surgery, but the two on emotional eating are very good too.

[silverfeet97.livejournal.com]

add to filter please

[bella-peligrosa.livejournal.com]

Like you, I had an eye-opening experience a few weeks ago that has given me a lot of motivation to watch what I'm eating, increase my activity level and just generally be a healthier, happier person. I'd like to read what you're writing on the subject and I think I've already included you on my filter for it (guess I need to dust that off, don't i?)

Much love and many good wishes to you. Mind if I join the community too?

[make-your-move.livejournal.com]

You can follow the link and enjoy the community. I've also made a filter for it, but I'm simply cross-posting everyday, so you're welcome on the filter, the community or both :)

[anistastia.livejournal.com]

add me to the filter please??