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Quieting the noise in my head
Oct. 31st, 2005 01:43 pmThere's a relentless amount of noise in my head as of late .... so much so that I can barely hear anything else. There's signal there, but how clear it is depends on the day. Saturday was a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day, which may have prompted Sunday's action.
Yesterday I did something I have not done in a very long time... I went to church, to the morning service. I don't remember much of the sermon, it had something to do with everyone having 'sin' - but it wasn't so much the sermon - as the feeling of sitting in the sanctuary, following the rituals, rising and sitting, being a part of something larger than myself, but not being lost in it. Despite having to pretty constantly keep the girls occupied, it gave a me a tremendous sense of quiet ... nay I say, even a bit of peace. For awhile yesterday, the noise in my head was quiet.
Somewhere, somehow without quite realizing it, I lost that internal connection to my higher power. Yesterday I think I might of spotted the path again.
Yesterday I did something I have not done in a very long time... I went to church, to the morning service. I don't remember much of the sermon, it had something to do with everyone having 'sin' - but it wasn't so much the sermon - as the feeling of sitting in the sanctuary, following the rituals, rising and sitting, being a part of something larger than myself, but not being lost in it. Despite having to pretty constantly keep the girls occupied, it gave a me a tremendous sense of quiet ... nay I say, even a bit of peace. For awhile yesterday, the noise in my head was quiet.
Somewhere, somehow without quite realizing it, I lost that internal connection to my higher power. Yesterday I think I might of spotted the path again.
